Missing the Point

On Tuesday at the Veteran’s Hospital I had a tuberculin injection (as required by the volunteer office) which I had checked on Friday.  I seem to be clean of it.

On Thursday afternoon, I talked to some insane kid on the bus to work who kept yelling about another passenger’s hair…  On Thursday or Friday morning, a long line of race cars drove past for a light and a half.  At school on Friday, I talked long with "Elena", a Russian girl from Ukraine who now works at the school library.  I was introduced to her this week.  At the afternoon shift, I got two cupcakes from the parents of this kid who brought them to class.  Just before leaving for the bus, I saw from the opposite corner some half-there homelessy guy discover and then lay claim to my back-pack.  I went and caught up with him, thanking him for finding my stuff…  He thought I was the law because of the badge embroidered on my shirt and hat.

These four mornings have been chilly at work, and the sun has gotten noticeably later.

Today, my mom drove me down to a car sellership out west because I had entered a contest weeks ago for a motorcycle.  They chose about a hundred "qualifiers" and told us to come down today for another drawing.  It was a radio station doing it.  We hung around there for a couple hours till it started; I also saw Laura Chamberlain there, a Hong Kong missionary.  I think I was the fourth one to be eliminated.  It was kind of fun to go down there, anyway.

After nearly three weeks of not talking, Alexandra messaged me again on Wednesday.  We talked well on-line and on-phone till Friday night, when her friends were over. Her Canadian teacher there had just had a class about, believe it or not, "how stupid Americans were", and those kids, as you might expect, were all convinced.  The teacher had showed them one of those foreign shows where they pay American tourists (or tourists who can pull an American accent) to say really stupid answers to easy questions, and both the (East-Indian) teacher and all the students let their bias persuade them to condemn me and everybody else here to ignorance.  Now, that’s forgivable, if the ignorance is authentic… but not just because you as the viewer of an entertainment program are too gullible and brainless to know acting from real-life.

She insisted on the show’s claim that "George Bush didn’t know who Canada’s prime minister was"…  I showed her this picture; I’m not sure if she got the point.

Well, I guess it shouldn’t’ve surprised me that go-with-the-flow Alex… went with the flow.  My mom had just interrogated me Friday afternoon about why I was even hanging around somebody so young.  I tried telling her she shouldn’t let horror stories make her decisions for her, but she countered that even so, I had only ever complained to her about Alex’s thoughtlessness and innate immaturity.  She was right, as the subsequent conversation showed me.

Anyway, on Friday night’s call, she asked her two friends whether Americans were "idiots", and they audibly chorused their affirmation…

…After wondering what would be the most effective response… …I hung up on her.

She messaged me again just now, and I asked her if she was going to have her friends call me an idiot again.  She apparently wasn’t ready to talk about that.  She typed some acronym and logged off.  …And I deleted her.

She’s getting more and more unkind.  Maybe I shouldn’t blame her for poor literacy, but for cruelty and stubbornness?  I don’t know if I want those from a friend…  I guess it’s another two and a half weeks now, although separations rather get longer than shorter.  In the end, I must always forgive.

I felt bad talking to her these days; without me as a balance, she’s gone a little bit towards the moronic, careless mindset (and habits) of her companions and society.  And now we’re frozen again, and she’ll go yet further… just like Bomie did.  I guess she’s growing up into a monster; before now, she was just a cute, harmless baby monster.  Well, it wasn’t my job to raise her, but I did care about her and how she turned out.   But I can’t possibly overturn her self-damnation.  I couldn’t with the last girl either.  I guess they’re going to become what they have in their minds to become.

Oh, it’s an awful task, being God.  It must be.  So many of your children choose to be devils; and so many only go half-way to the perfection and glory within their reach.  They only ever plan to win bronze; they never want gold.  Even when they’re ahead, they’ll intentionally slow down just so they don’t win the prize, because they hate being the best.  They love being failures.  Given good or evil, they prefer evil.

I wish that hidden minority would come into the open… those who are truly God’s children and heirs, who want to become like him, and who desire excellence, beauty, and intelligence in all things.  Show yourselves…  When God reveals them, those blessed few will radiate like the sun, far outshining and obscuring the puny twinkling of these billion stars.  I pray their stubbornness finally leave them sometime along eternity.

I’ve been reading my U.S. history book these days in preparation for my class.  The author, a sworn Democrat, becomes less and less objective the closer to the present he gets.  He reminded me of two combatants I recently read on a YouTube foreign policy discussion: both thoroughly informed and educated, but both arriving at bizarre, inhumane conclusions despite their intense consideration.

Anyway, reading about those past administrations… fills me with a hope… that there IS a solution.  We could renew this country; we could solve these problems facing us and be a bright light in the world.  We could abandon those failed policies and those popularity politics…  We could be like the men who made this country ex nihilo, guided by their purest reason and highest morals.  But what a battle they fought to do it, even them…  How they struggled and compromised.  And that was just to preserve this country’s body.  We want to save America’s spirit, too.

But there can be no social movement without participants…

I want to find that world where intelligence reigns in men’s hearts… where people believe truth over untruth; where we stifle the childish popular whims that lead us from one historical blunder to the next, embarrassing us in the future text-books.  One generation after another — they learn the mistakes of their predecessors, they think themselves more enlightened… and then they promptly rebirth the mistakes into novel interpretations.  One example among thousands is this latest "bail-out" of housing loans.  A free market has no such training wheels — and the rider who falls is the one who learns not to fall again.  When we take the bumps and bruises out of life, we remove all necessity of balance.

But the truth is out there…  A perfect society and a godlike economy is waiting to be built using the same radical techniques, the same discipline, selflessness, and pure religion, that the majority has always rejected.

But… that war couldn’t be won in heaven except by annihilation.  How can we win it here without Michael and the harvesting angels descending?

But it has been won before, hasn’t it, through the rightness of individuals?

But then, even Jesus didn’t win it in his day, although he planted the seeds of a new world.  It wasn’t the right time…

Maybe it’s time now, I don’t know.  I do know I can never hope for a correct world until my own heart is correct… and it’s not correct, according to the divine law.

I’ve wasted time…  It’s time to act…  What can I do…


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