December 27, Saturday

On Christmas, Petra Pintar called me by way of greeting.  It felt very… old… very old-fashioned, for a girl to be calling me… and for a minute, I imagined… that I was wanted by somebody.  Self-pity aside, she’s a very thoughtful girl.  I doubt we’ll stay in touch.  Since the accident, it’s been increasingly difficult to see any purpose in carrying on social connections.  But she did call me at home, which nobody does; so if I do happen to keep in touch with anybody from that school, it might as well be her.  The Zambians don’t really call, and I don’t really call them, of course.  Tugsuu may call again if she needs any assistance.
I had a nice time staying up and playing games with Yiu last night.  She has been more or less a faithful companion to me…  It’s been over four years; just a bit longer than the Korean.  Online, there’s Tong Ka Man, Nicole, whom I met nearly seven years ago in Hong Kong.  And Tugsuu I met… was it three years ago?  But though we occasionally talk, I’m not really connected with them right now.  Currently, no other old-timers talk to me.  Sin Ting greets me every so often, but we haven’t talked deeply since around the time she went to school.
Well, Alexandra may technically be an old-timer.  We’ve talked again this month.
Among the latest generation of contacts, those from and Skype, there are some who have shown a bit of consistency.  We have no real attachment yet, though.  They all still seem very generic to me.  They’re mostly Chinese girls, and what originality they may possess is hidden under at least a few, and sometimes very many layers of conformity.  Many of their opinions seem right off the assembly line.  Anyway, I guess I see that here too from our atheists and pop-cultists.
By chance, yesterday I met a very nice individual claiming residence in Arizona, which is probably the nearest location of anybody I’ve gotten to know online…  The person added me on Skype maybe a week ago, but didn’t talk till yesterday (I’d alerady deleted the contact, but they hadn’t).  I was kind of hoping to see them on today…
This mostly sad year is almost over.  It will be two years since the accident.  I’ve forgotten other sadness, so I’ll surely forget this too… sooner or later.  All I really need to do is not repeat it.
Surely, by 2010, I’ll have forgotten her…
…but… why does it still feel like it happened yesterday…
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