Angel’s Whisper

Really raining nicely today.  I’m glad summer drought hasn’t kicked in yet.
 
At, uh… 2:05 p.m. today, a little over 3 hours from now, our year of 2009 will be exactly one third over.
 
It so happens that this was the very day I entered the Missionary Training Center in Provo, 8 years ago.  I’ll go check the time from my old journal.
 
Well, it was 12:30 p.m. that I was to report there.  So exactly 8 years ago, I probably would’ve been riding down there with my mother and whomever.  Maybe I’d have been down there already.  We ate brunch or something with my cousin Sarah Foster (Stice) and her relations, since we two were entering on the same day.  She went to Caracas, Venezuela.  Now she has a few kids.
 
That, of course, was the last day I saw my father on this earth [well, no; that was at the airport, on July 17th or 18th or whenever].  I don’t recall (maybe it’s in my journal) if he went to the introduction meeting, or if the last time I saw him was out in front, when I took the picture.  Let me find that thing…
 
 –
 
My camera used film back then.  I got a digital one… must’ve been for Christmas… in… 2002 or 2003…
 
Anyway, I guess this May 2nd is one of my days.
 
There are maybe only two kinds of dates I remember: the birthdays of those I care about, and mission dates.  I think it was July 17th that I left for HK, and July 18th that I arrived.  My natural departure date (the president encouraged the earlier option) was to be April 11th, I think.  And the day I actually went home was, if I remember right, November 2nd.  I guess I forgot the Salt Lake dates.  I think I started on December 23rd and finished on June 23rd.
 
Hm.  Maybe I also remember January 27th.  Wasn’t that it?  That was the Sunday the prophet died.
 
For birthdays, aside from family, there are February 11th and 5th… and that other girl seemed to claim January 2nd.  Then… October… 24th?  [4th, ha ha.]  And then Heidi’s, which somehow I’ve never remembered well.  June 20-something… maybe 21st or 24th…  [June 25th.]
 
Well, it’s been a weird life.  I guess this is a season where everything is going easily…
 
I really can’t be out in the city when it’s raining without missing Korea.  I’m really sorry I lost some of my love for Hong Kong…
 
 
Speaking of which…
 
I argued a bit with some Chinese girls online recently.  More and more, I think they’re all insane, when they say such devilish things about Tibet.  It’s pretty much one of the most unhelpful opinions you could possibly hold, that one person has some permanent right to oppress and afflict another person, and especially for no reason but that one’s ancestors afflicted their ancestors.
 
If there are three things I’m grateful for, the first is the gospel.  The second is my family.  The third is that I wasn’t born under a Communist dictatorship, to screw up my entire belief system and force lunacy upon me, controlling my sources of news, history, and all other information, and convincing me to doubt anything except what they spoon-fed me, all so that they could remain in power without any danger of me thinking freely and realizing their wickedness, and rising up with my fellows and throwing them into a dungeon for their crimes against the human spirit, against God.
 
As I asked a girl today, why doesn’t China capture Mongolia?  Like Tibet, it too “used to belong to China” (seeing how Mongolia assimilated China), and so it should still be China today.  It was a crazy suggestion, she thought.  She told me that parts of Russia had also belonged to China in history; should China recapture them?  I asked her, why not?  After all, that was the very same argument for China stealing Tibet, and the same craziness convincing today’s Chinese that Tibet “belongs” to China — except that Russia, of course, is a stronger enemy, and Mongolia by her patronage, while Tibet was weak; and so China restricted herself to robbing the land of the weak and defenseless.  And, said she, that Mongolian and Russian land was barren and would be no benefit, but a burden.  So then, Tibet was raped only for her richer resources?  [Actually, Mongolia has a wealth of minerals that China is trying to get its hands on in less direct ways.]
 
Yes, if you’re a criminal, I guess you would think that was “right”, and that other people’s possessions rightfully “belong” to you, if only you’re clever (and evil) enough to take them.  So all Chinese are common thieves, who ever say Tibet “belongs” to them.  And Chinese are opportunistic cowards who only know how to bully the weak and small, and never somebody their own size, unless they strike from the shadows, fighting somebody else’s war.
 
Chinese have these weird dreams that they’re some advanced civilization, but to the West, they are totally backwards, and their millennia of history have only locked them all up like monkeys in a cage of barbaric beliefs.  Until they ever pick themselves up out of the mud and stand up, and be human, they will always be scorned by the right-thinking among the global family.
 
And in the future, there will not be a very big difference in the minds of schoolchildren between “Mao” and “Hitler”, no matter where you live.  Yes, China, in the future, you will tear down your own statues of that monster.
 
Ah… this was my lot, 8 years ago, to become connected to this people, this race of liars.
 
Chinese…
 
…Repent.
 
Tell the truth.  Learn to be honest.  Learn to be men.  Put away your vicious beliefs and your false history, your justifications for your nation’s sin.  Tear down your libraries full of lies.  Come into the light of truth.  Put away the past.  Join the modern world, where we hate robbery, oppression, and compulsion.  Wake up from your twisted nightmares of domination.  Forsake the evil, and choose the good.
 
Chinese, you are not monkeys, you are not animals.  Why, any longer, should you behave like animals, following no law but force?
 
Teach yourselves the truth: Tibetans are a free people.  They belong to themselves.  Put down your anger.  You think you have lost something if you let your captive neighbour go free; but in fact, you have gained your humanity, and kept your souls.
 
But stay chained up by your lies and your greed, Chinese, and the day will come that you will mourn, and yearn for your own freedom, and nobody will hear your cry.
 
Ah… repent, and change, and be happy…  Stop causing suffering in the world.  Stop spreading darkness.  Throw away your pride, your lust for power, fame, and recognition that drives you to such heinous acts as enslaving other human beings.
 
Repent.  Turn around.  The “dao” you’re following is the one that leads to misery.
 
 
…But my cry here is mute.
 
Maybe I’ll go on YouTube…
 
Well, if I live, then someday, perhaps, I will be in a position to cry loudly enough to be heard by millions.
 
…So hoped Alma, and with a far more exalted desire than mine.
 
O that I were an angel, […] that I might go forth and speak with […] a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people!  Yea, I would declare unto every soul, as with the voice of thunder, repentance and the plan of redemption, that they should repent and come unto our God, that there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth.
 
How did he get over it?
 
 But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me.  I ought not to harrow up in my desires, the firm decree of a just God, for I know that he granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that he allotteth unto men […] according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction.
 
Yea, and I know that good and evil have come before all men; he that knoweth not good from evil is blameless; but he that knoweth good and evil, to him it is given according to his desires, whether he desireth good or evil, life or death, joy or remorse of conscience.
 
…And then he died.  And at last, he has his angel’s voice to shake the earth.
If Chinese choose oppression, what is that to me?  I know Tibetans will not be oppressed in the next world, only for their own sins.
 
…And I know that Chinese had the truth in their midst, and the form of truth, and that they knew right from wrong, and still know.
 
It seems a pity that a race with the opportunity for such enlightenment would disbelieve their own potential for greatness, and choose darkness and smallness instead, and heap upon themselves the regret of eternity.
 
…But a far bigger pity would be if they had never had the choice.  But they, as all men, being the children of God, are given the freedom of the children of God, to become gods, angels, or devils; and all things are just.
 
Oh China.  Some of you will repent, I know, and desire no more the blood and tears of the weak.  Some already have.
 
 
Well, it seems like “China” and “love” are all I ever write about.  I’ll try to move on.
 
Not quite two hours left.  I started this at 11:45 or so; now it’s 12:25.
 
Hmm.  Three more weeks till I leave… unless Air China gets scared over the flu and does something rash with my flight.
 
-Steve
 
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4 Responses to Angel’s Whisper

  1. Hannah says:

    Well Chinese would not be able to stand up without Mao Every country needs a strong person to rule and we had no choice at that time.. u alway think mao is not good and u think we students are mao’s childrend we believe everything he said is good or something but we have brains too i dont think american history is beautiful

  2. Steve says:

    Yes, and Father Hitler in his time lifted Germany from the gutter to the throne of Europe. Hirohito took his crowded islanders and marched them up and down Asia, and none could stop them. Giving unearthly arrogance to a people and occupying other nations is no sign of progress.

    You should say, Chinese would not be able to stand up without Sun Yat Sen. That Mao was a curse on your country that set your people back 50 years at least. You had a republic once, but Mao thrust Chinese back to the dark ages, crowning himself emperor and even god, and leaving Chinese with a corrupt dynasty to struggle once again to worm their way out of.

    Yes, we had some ugliness in America. It was called brutalizing the native Americans, exactly what your government has been doing with Tibet. And I tell you, it’s a stain that has not been washed from this country.

    That makes it the more strange, that China had at least one bad example, America’s, set before them, and China still chose to repeat the evil. You can say that China has the right to mimick the worst mistakes of other nations, but here’s a better plan: Learn to be wiser than America has been, not more foolish. Go down in history as more benevolent than other governments, not more cruel.

    …And not by simply re-writing history books, and insisting endlessly to your children that, while other nations’ imperialism was wrong, YOUR imperialism was heroic.

    I don’t want to diminish anybody’s patriotism. But be patriotic towards true China, not the deformed mask of the CCP that is wrapped so tightly around China’s head, cutting off the brain’s oxygen. Creating a generation of racists and history-deniers is just so………… pointless. If China wants to stand up, let them stand up for change — and not the self-serving “change” of a dictator or liar, as Americans so wildly clamoured for, and received, last year.

  3. Steve says:

    (Eh, it’s 10:35 p.m. now.)

    Saw a funny article today on the Chinese habit of dodging national responsibility.

    Paul Krugman (NYT):

    “…The latest projections from reputable climate scientists border on the apocalyptic. Why? Because the rate at which greenhouse gas emissions are rising is matching or exceeding the worst-case scenarios.

    And the growth of emissions from China — already the world’s largest producer of carbon dioxide — is one main reason for this new pessimism.

    …And the trend seems set to continue: In January China announced that… it will increase coal production 30 percent by 2015. That’s a decision that, all by itself, will swamp any emission reductions elsewhere.

    So what is to be done about the China problem?

    Nothing, say the Chinese. Each time I raised the issue during my visit, I was met with outraged declarations that it was unfair to expect China to limit its use of fossil fuels. After all, they declared, the West faced no similar constraints during its development; while China may be the world’s largest source of carbon-dioxide emissions, its per-capita emissions are still far below American levels; and anyway, the great bulk of global warming that has already happened is due not to China but to the past carbon emissions of today’s wealthy nations.

    And they’re right. It is unfair to expect China to live within constraints that we didn’t have to face when our own economy was on its way up. But that unfairness doesn’t change the fact that letting China match the West’s past profligacy would doom the Earth as we know it.

    …Given the right policies, China could continue to grow rapidly without increasing its carbon emissions. But first it has to realize that policy changes are necessary.”

    Another example of Chinese blaming everything on the West, wanting to copy the worst behaviour from the West, refusing to admit or address any of their problems, and refusing to enter the civilized future? You decide.

  4. Heidi says:

    I end up crying when I read this entry….. When we were still chatting, I was still having this huge crush on you, I always wanted you to remember my birthday. Last year when you finally remember it, I went to buy a lottery ticket and I end up having enough money for a McDonald meal. 🙂 I do not know if you will remember it this year

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